Monday, August 31, 2009

August 31st, 2009

Scream 3
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“Snoochie Boochies” and a meta-meta-send-up do not a film make. C+.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

August 30th, 2009

Scream 2
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First signs of strain in franchise begin to inevitably show. B-.

August 29th, 2009

Scream
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Fairly smart and clever deconstruction of slasher genre. Good time. B.

Friday, August 28, 2009

August 28th, 2009

Face/Off
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Worth watching if only for Travolta-Cage ham-off. Very silly movie. C.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

August 27th, 2009

Resident Evil
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Fairly lame video game adaptation, but not the worst either. D+.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

August 26th, 2009

V for Vendetta
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Decent adaptation. Not as bad as Alan Moore thinks. Enjoyable. B+.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

August 25th, 2009

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
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Surprisingly unexciting for most action-packed Narnia book. Overall bit uninteresting. C+.

Monday, August 24, 2009

August 24th, 2009

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
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Easily awesome movie, given the one Narnia book worth reading. B+.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

August 23rd, 2009

Leave It To Beaver
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I really liked Eddie Haskell. That shows I have issues. C+.

Happy Birthday!

Today’s reviewer’s birthday. Please keep all birthday wishes at 11 words.

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MORBO WISHES TO CELEBRATE YOUR EXPULSION FROM YOUR MOTHER!

Thank you Morbo.

I WILL DESTROY YOU!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

August 22nd, 2009

TMNT (2007)
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What an abominable and underwhelming waste of effort. More Donatello! D.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

August 21st, 2009

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (Gillard, 1993)
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Turtles travel through time, but are samurais not ninjas apparently? C.

August 20th, 2009

Be Cool (Gray, 2002)
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Sort of makes me want to gouge my eyes out. D+.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

August 19th, 2009

Care Bears Adventures in Wonderland
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Loosely based on Caroll at best. Rapping disheartening. Pickled beets?! C.

August 18th, 2009

Care Bears 2: A New Generation
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Somewhat disturbed mythological version of world of Care Bears. Overall, B.

Monday, August 17, 2009

August 17th, 2009

The Care Bears Movie
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Talking touchy-feely bears teach about feelings. Fight evil magic book. B-.

ALTERNATE:

My summary at age 4 made preschool suspect parents Satanists. Seriously.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

August 16th, 2009

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
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What’s there to say? Generally dependable, and some decent performances. B.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

August 15th, 2009

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
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Probably my favorite of the franchise so far. But still... B.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

August 14th, 2009

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
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Raph Finnes HATES Harry Potter, and boy does it show. B.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

August 13th, 2009

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
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Alfonso CuarĂ³n does a great job. Beginning of tone shift. B.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

August 12th, 2009

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
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Probably the weakest of the franchise so far. But still... B.

August 11th, 2009

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
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Magic, mystery, Bildungsroman, dependable workhorse franchise. Overall decent filmmaking. B.

Monday, August 10, 2009

August 10th, 2009

Blue (Jarman, 1993)
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The most compelling all blue movie I’ve ever seen. Seriously. B+.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

August 9th, 2009

Spiderwick Chronicles
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Great fantasy. Nick Nolte ALMOST makes up for The Hulk. B.

August 8th, 2009

Happiness
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EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW! EWW!!!1 B.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

August 7th, 2009

I Spit on Your Grave
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Eww. Eww eww eww. Eww! Eww. Eww. Eww eww. Eww! C-.

August 6th, 2009

Plan 9 From Outer Space
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“Stronger. You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!” D.

ALTERNATE:

Awful, but awful in a wonderful, wonderful, way. Mixed review possible. D.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

August 5th, 2009

End of Evangelion
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Crazy stuff be going down. Lacanian psychology, Qabalistic symbolism. Cool. A-.

August 4th, 2009

Boogie Nights
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A remarkable character study. My favorite PT Anderson movie. A-.

Tangent:
Many visible San Fernando Valley landmarks. I go to the church.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

August 3rd, 2009

There Will be Blood
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“I drink your milkshake, it drink it all up.” Yeah. B+.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

August 2nd, 2009

Bowling for Columbine
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Fat socialist weasel slightly misrepresents facts. Heart in right place. B-.

August 1st, 2009

Away We Go
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Ending kinda too open, otherwise very good. Great emotional experience. A-.