Saturday, February 28, 2009

February 28th, 2009

White Noise (Sax, 2005)
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Supernatural thriller starring Michael Keaton somehow not totally awful. C+.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

February 27th, 2009

Highlander: Endgame (Aarniokoski, 2000)
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Have you gotten the joke yet? Can be only one. F+.

February 26th, 2009

Highlander III: The Sorcerer (Morahan, 1994)
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Series of lame sequels prove really can be only one. D-.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Monday, February 23, 2009

February 23rd, 2009

Hollow Man (Verhoeven, 1999)
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Kevin Bacon invisible, but memories of movie will not disappear. D+.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

February 22nd, 2009

Inspector Gadget (Kellogg, 1999)
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Unfortunately, giving Dr. Claw backstory only least of many problems. F.

February 21st, 2009

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (Gillard, 1993)
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The Turtles travel through time without fighting dinosaurs or pirates. D.



February 20th, 2009

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: Secret of the Ooze (Pressman, 1992)
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Vanilla Ice cameo. Go Ninja, Go Ninja, Go. Super Shredder. B.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

February 19th, 2009

War of the Worlds (Spielberg, 2005)
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Tom Cruise and Steven Spielberg somehow fail at being maudlin. F.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

February 18th, 2009

Beowulf (Zemeckis, 2007)
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I like spectacle, and movie is certainly full of that. B+.

Monday, February 16, 2009

February 17th, 2009

Ghostbusters II (Reitman, 1989)
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Not the perfect storm of the original, but perfectly good. B-.

February 16th, 2009

Ghostbusters (Reitman, 1984)
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Extremely funny. I am clearly more than a little biased. B+.

Friday, February 13, 2009

February 15th, 2009

The Wizard of Oz
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A great example of a bygone era. A must see. B+.

February 14th, 2009

My Bloody Valentine: 3D (Lussier, 2009)
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3D gimmick does what it can to cliché riddled story. C-.

SPOILERIFFIC 11 WORDS:
Exactly what you expect, except that the black guy lives. C-.

February 13th, 2009

The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh (Lounsberry and Reitherman, 1977)
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Bear of little brain has lovely adventures. Miss Parker disagreed. B.

REQUIRED REFERENCE:
“It is that word 'hummy,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.”
- Dorothy Parker, review of The House at Pooh Corner, The New Yorker, October 20th, 1928

Thursday, February 12, 2009

February 12th, 2009

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Barron, 1990)
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Turtles fight Foot Clan, enjoy Pizza. Not much else needed. B+.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

February 11th, 2009

Bolt (Howard and Williams, 2008)
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John Travolta’s most nuanced performance comes playing a talking dog. B+.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

February 10th, 2009

Galaxy Quest (Parisot, 1999)
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Only Tim Allen movie I like without words “Buzz Lightyear.” B+.

ALTERNATE:
This is that one where Alan Rickman is all snide. B+.

Friday, February 6, 2009

February 9th, 2009

Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Hat (Welch, 2003)
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Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

F.

February 8th, 2009

Blank Check (Wainwright, 1994)
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“Hilarious circumstances” ensue in the most PG Disney way possible. C+.

February 7th, 2009

Southland Tales (Kelly, 2006)
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“Kind of a mess” a supreme understatement, to be sure. D+.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

February 6th, 2009

Biodome (Bloom, 1996)
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They really should have left those two morons in there. D.

February 5th, 2009

Coyote Ugly (McNally, 2000)
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Sort of makes me want to gouge my eyes out. D+.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

February 4th, 2009

101 Dalmatians (Herek, 1996)
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Cruela DeVille’s not going to be IGNORED, nor bizarre coat. C+.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

February 3rd, 2009

National Lampoon’s Animal House (Landis, 1978)
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Kevin Bacon nexus. Also launched million lame t-shirts. Food fight! B+.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

February 2nd, 2009

High School High (Bochner, 1996)
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Only parody movie of “inner city education” film. Reasonably funny. B-.

February 1st, 2009

Sin City (Miller and Rodriguez, 2006)
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Noir in tone if not in spirit. Marv section strongest. B.

January 31st, 2009

Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (Christian, 2000)
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Overuse of “Star Wars Wipe” almost offensive. Anti-Psychiatry bias is so. F.