Inside-out William Shatner mask spells terror comparable to outside-in one. B.
Friday, October 31, 2008
October 31st 2008
Halloween (Carpenter, 1975)
Inside-out William Shatner mask spells terror comparable to outside-in one. B.
Inside-out William Shatner mask spells terror comparable to outside-in one. B.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
October 30th 2008
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (Scott Glosserman, 2006)
Carol Clover’s “Men, Women, and Chainsaws”: The Movie. Quite funny. B+.
Carol Clover’s “Men, Women, and Chainsaws”: The Movie. Quite funny. B+.
October 29th 2008
Six String Samurai (Mungia, 1998)
Post-Apocalyptic Buddy Holly battles Death/Slash, Ritchie Valens, steals my heart. B+.
Post-Apocalyptic Buddy Holly battles Death/Slash, Ritchie Valens, steals my heart. B+.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
October 28th 2008
Air Force One (Petersen 1997)
President Harrison Ford wants you off his plane, god damnit. B-.
President Harrison Ford wants you off his plane, god damnit. B-.
Monday, October 27, 2008
October 27th 2008
Looney Tunes Back in Action (Dante, 2003)
Brendan Frasier helps Looney Tunes defeat evil corporate Steve Martin. B-.
Brendan Frasier helps Looney Tunes defeat evil corporate Steve Martin. B-.
October 26th 2008
Space Jam (Pytka, 1996)
Michael Jordan helps Looney Tunes defeat evil basketball playing aliens. C-.
ALTERNATIVE:
Danny Devito alien didn’t know why Dan Akroyd’s in picture. C-.
Michael Jordan helps Looney Tunes defeat evil basketball playing aliens. C-.
ALTERNATIVE:
Danny Devito alien didn’t know why Dan Akroyd’s in picture. C-.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
October 25th 2008
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Gondry 2003)
Dreaming Jim Carrey forgets girlfriend in surreal subconscious disjointed narrative. A-.
Dreaming Jim Carrey forgets girlfriend in surreal subconscious disjointed narrative. A-.
Friday, October 24, 2008
October 24th, 2008
Batman and Robin (Schumacher, 1998)
Campy homoerotic reading breaks franchise so badly total reboot needed. F.
Campy homoerotic reading breaks franchise so badly total reboot needed. F.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
October 23rd 2008
Empire of the Ants (Gordon, 1977)
Giant ants terrorize young Joan Collins. Special effects don’t hold up. C.
Giant ants terrorize young Joan Collins. Special effects don’t hold up. C.
October 22nd 2008
Death to Smoochy (DeVito, 2003)
Sordid side of children’s TV is raunchy and quite profane. A-.
Sordid side of children’s TV is raunchy and quite profane. A-.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
October 21st 2008
Napoleon Dynamite (Hess, 2004)
“Indie comedy” apparently means “not funny.” Launched a million catchphrases. C.
ALTERNATIVE:
“Idiot! Gosh! Eat your tots!” You’re not missing much. C.
“Indie comedy” apparently means “not funny.” Launched a million catchphrases. C.
ALTERNATIVE:
“Idiot! Gosh! Eat your tots!” You’re not missing much. C.
Monday, October 20, 2008
October 20th 2008
Supersize Me (Spurlock 2006)
Modern day Upton Sinclair sacrifices his body, libido, for justice. B.
Modern day Upton Sinclair sacrifices his body, libido, for justice. B.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
October 19th 2008
Birth of a Nation (Griffith, 1919)
Upside-down world where racists heroes, mulattos tragic. “Written with lightning.” C.
Upside-down world where racists heroes, mulattos tragic. “Written with lightning.” C.
Friday, October 17, 2008
October 18th 2008
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Gilliam, 1998)
American dream apparently has something to do with giant lizards. B.
American dream apparently has something to do with giant lizards. B.
October 17th 2008
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (Hughes, 1986)
Ed Rooney is, pardon my French, an asshole. Save Ferris. B.
Ed Rooney is, pardon my French, an asshole. Save Ferris. B.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
October 16th 2008
Beethoven’s Second (Daniel, 1993)
Dog continues to annoy patriarch, with puppies, still not funny. C-.
Dog continues to annoy patriarch, with puppies, still not funny. C-.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
October 15th 2008
The Polar Express (Zemeckis, 2004)
Creepy and nightmare-inducing plastic zombie puppet children visit Santa Claus. D.
Creepy and nightmare-inducing plastic zombie puppet children visit Santa Claus. D.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
October 14th 2008
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (Leonetti, 1997)
Morbo says: STORIES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! F.
Morbo says: STORIES DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! F.
October 13th 2008
Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (Lucas, 1999)
My childhood dies a little bit. Jar Jar Binks sucks. D-.
My childhood dies a little bit. Jar Jar Binks sucks. D-.
Monday, October 13, 2008
October 12th 2008
Breathless (Godard 1955)
Famous jump cut in classic homage to American gangster movies. A.
Famous jump cut in classic homage to American gangster movies. A.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
October 11th, 2008
Ultraviolet (Wimmer 2006)
A total wreck; albeit a beautifully choreographed and nonsensical one. D.
A total wreck; albeit a beautifully choreographed and nonsensical one. D.
Friday, October 10, 2008
October 10th 2008
City of Angels (Siberling, 1998)
Remake of Wings of Desire spawns Goo Goo Dolls hit. B.
Remake of Wings of Desire spawns Goo Goo Dolls hit. B.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
October 9th 2008
The Addams Family (Sonnenfeld, 1991)
Eccentric family is creepy but functional. Sally Jesse Raphael cameo. B.
Eccentric family is creepy but functional. Sally Jesse Raphael cameo. B.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
October 8th 2008
Across the Universe (Taymor, 2007)
Well-made but inevitably self-indulgent tripe with tissue paper thin story. B.
Well-made but inevitably self-indulgent tripe with tissue paper thin story. B.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
October 6th 2008
Team America: World Police (Parker, 2004)
Alec Baldwin is useless, Kim Jong Il is “ronery.” Loved it. B+.
Alec Baldwin is useless, Kim Jong Il is “ronery.” Loved it. B+.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
October 5th 2008
Austin Powers in Goldmember (Roach 2002)
Series of increasingly awkward gags crescendos with John Travolta cameo. C.
Series of increasingly awkward gags crescendos with John Travolta cameo. C.
October 4th 2008
Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me (Roach 1999)
Austin Powers drinks Fat Bastard’s poop and the world rejoices. B-.
Austin Powers drinks Fat Bastard’s poop and the world rejoices. B-.
Friday, October 3, 2008
October 3rd 2008
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (Roach 1997)
The ship that launched a million catchphrases is actually witty. B+.
The ship that launched a million catchphrases is actually witty. B+.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
October 2nd 2008
You Me and Dupree (Russo and Russo, 2007)
Owen Wilson has seven kinds of smoke. Movie has none. C.
Owen Wilson has seven kinds of smoke. Movie has none. C.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
October 1st 2008
Sex and the City (King, 2008)
Pay $12+ to watch six episodes of cancelled HBO show. B-.
Pay $12+ to watch six episodes of cancelled HBO show. B-.
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