December 31st, 2008

Spirited Away (Miyazaki, 2001)


Girls’ parents become pigs, boy a river dragon, valuable lessons learned. A-.

December 30th, 2008

Princess Mononoke (Miyazaki, 1997)


Eco-Terrorist goddess battles heavy-handed commentary on industrialism, cool stuff happens. A.

December 29th, 2008

Porco Rosso (Miyazaki, 1992)


Pig fighter pilot/sea-pirate fights American for woman’s heart. Awesome. A.

December 28th, 2008

Kiki’s Delivery Service (Miyazaki, 1989)


When Phil Hartman cat loses his voice, I’m bummed meta-textually. A.

December 27th, 2008

My Neighbor Totoro (Miyazaki, 1988)


Cat bus.

Cat bus.

Cat bus.

Cat bus.

CAT BUS.

A.

December 26th, 2008

Kung-Fu Panda (Osborne and Stevenson, 2008)


Despite all attempts made, I could not hate this movie. B.

Happy Holidays

Morbo says: HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM 11 WORD MOVIE REVIEWS! GOOD NIGHT!

December 25th, 2008

Batman Returns (Burton, 1991)


Penguin doubts Batman’s belief in succeeding. Catwoman saved by litter. B.

December 24th, 2008

The Nightmare Before Christmas (Selick, 1993)


Danny Elfman-skeleton nearly destroys, then saves, Christmas. Only Tim Burton. B+.

December 23rd, 2008

Eight Crazy Nights (Kearsley, 2002)


Not awesomely bad, but simultaneously awesome and bad. Quintessential Sandler. B-/C+.

December 22nd, 2008

It’s a Wonderful Life (Capra, 1946)


Every time bell rings, movie plays between Thanksgiving and January. A-.

December 21st, 2008

Gremlins (Dante, 1984)


Really, not that difficult not to feed them after midnight. B+.

December 20th, 2008

Hannibal Rising (Webber, 2007)


Interesting, but becomes increasingly pro-Hannibal to the point of absurdity. B-.

December 19th, 2008

Red Dragon (Ratner, 2002)


Edward Norton adds bizarre homoerotic touch that kinda works. B.

December 18th, 2008

Hannibal (Scott, 2001)


Gary Oldman makes anything better. Julianne Moore really does not. B.

December 17th, 2008

The Silence of the Lambs (Demme, 1991)


One of the better suspense-thrillers out there. Hopkins deserved the Oscar. A-.

December 16th, 2008

Dracula (Coppola, 1992)


Gary Oldman’s shadow deserves Best Supporting Actor. Definitely not Keanu. B.

December 15th, 2008

Beverly Hills Chihuahua (Gosnell, 2008)


A lot of people worked reasonably hard on an awful idea. C+.

December 14th, 2008

W (Stone, 2008)


Bush freaks out realizing he’s trapped in Olver Stone movie. B+.

December 13th, 2008

Planet of the Apes (Burton, 2001)


Man on ape sexual tension drives bizarre retread. You maniacs! D.

December 12th, 2008

Battle for the Planet of the Apes (Thompson, 1973)


John Huston cameo saves rather pedestrian whimper to excellent franchise. B-.

December 11, 2008

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (Thompson, 1972)


Watt’s riots equals ape uprising. Roddy McDowall gives awesome monologue. B+.

Sort of Spoiler Alert, ending of the movie:

Special Announcement

Comment here to nominate a review for the "Fan Favorite" Review.

The results will be up for a poll, for voting purposes.

The result displayed on January 1st, 2008. Thank you very much!

December 10th, 2008

Escape From the Planet of the Apes (Taylor, 1971)


No film is made worse by Ricardo Montalban. Pretty good. B.

December 9th, 2008

Beneath the Planet of the Apes (Post, 1970)


Telepathic mutants worship atomic bomb, other heavy handed social commentary. B.

Posted about top 11 out of 100 reviews over here. Enjoy!

11 Word Movie Reviews Guest Week Announcement

10 Words and a Grade is a great Zen exercise.

In celebration of upcoming 100th review, special guest week.

In addition to normal reviews, will post 7+ guest reviews as well.

(If more than 7 submit, will do multiple posts per day.)

Guest week will be from week of January 4th to 10th.

Contact me at doctordomike at gmail. Send relevant picture if necessary.

Get submissions to me by December 31st, 2008. Thank you so...

Darnit...


MORBO DEMANDS EXCELLENCE FROM YOU ALL! OR I WILL DESTROY YOU!

December 8th, 2008

Planet of the Apes (Schafnerr, 1968)


Classic over-the-top science fiction. Spoiler Alert: It’s Earth. B+.

ALTERNATE:

Dr. Zaius finally makes a monkey out of Lt. Taylor. B+.

DOUBLE ALTERNATE:

December 7th, 2008

The Fly (Cronenberg, 1986)


Geena Davis gives birth to Maggot, Goldblum breaks arm. Nightmares. A-.

December 6th 2008

Mullholland Drive (Lynch, 2001)


Something happens, then there’s a cowboy. Maybe it’s a dream? B.

December 5th 2008

Casper (Siberling, 1996)


Casper wants to keep Christina Ricci, one can’t blame him. B-.

December 4th 2008

Choke (Gregg, 2008)


Horrible Jesus Clone not so horrible. Same goes for movie. B-.

December 3rd 2008

Bloodrayne (Boll, 2005)


Wait, Ben Kingsley is in this movie?! Huh? F+.

Decmber 2nd 2008

Double Dragon (Yukich, 1994)


Although a thousand words, poster speaks for itself. Really lame. D+.

December 1st 2008

Lara Croft Tomb Raider


Bizarre John Voight cameo highlight of muddled mess of movie. C-.

November 30th 2008

The Day After Tomorrow (Emmerich, 2004)



Morbo Says: WEATHER DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! D-.

November 29th 2008

Titan AE (Bluth, 2001)


In an attempt to please absolutely everybody, nobody is happy. C.

November 28th 2008

Rockadoodle (Bluth, 1991)


Outraged child-me because rooster really does not make sun rise. C+.

November 27th 2008

The Secret of NIMH (Bluth, 1982)


Do you notice a pattern forming? And I compulsively cry. B.

November 26th 2008

All Dogs Go To Heaven (Bluth, 1989)


Charlie dies for real this time and I compulsively cry. B.

November 25th 2008

An American Tail (Bluth, 1986)


Fiefel curses his family for leaving and I compulsively cry. B.

November 24th 2008

The Land Before Time (Bluth, 1988)


Littlefoot chases his mother the cloud and I compulsively cry. B+.

November 23rd 2008

Song of the South (Foster and Jackson, 1946)


Not as racist as you expect; not exactly progressive either. C+.

November 22nd 2008

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Spielberg, 1984)


Indie covers his heart. Bad Indian stereotypes. My personal favorite. B.

November 21st 2008

Ghost World (Zwigoff, 2001)


Thora Birch is clearly wearing a 1977 punk rock look. B.

November 20th 2008

Eragon (Fangmeir, 2006)


Campbellian monomyth swallows up John Malkovich in awful, awful, movie. D.

November 19th 2008

Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid (Reiner, 1982)


Steve Martin breaks noir melodrama into comic gold. Quite funny. B.

November 18th 2008

Pinnochio (Luusk and Sharpstein, 1940)


One scene gives me nightmares for the entirety of life. B.

November 17th 2008

Rebel without a Cause (Ray, 1955)


Family is tearing James Dean apart. Dennis Hopper in race. A-.

November 16th 2008

The Pacifier (Shankman, 2005)


I liked this better when it was called Suburban Commando. D-.



11-Word Editor’s Note:

I’m aware this isn’t the exact concept. But way too close.

November 15th 2008

Willow (Howard, 1988)


HobbitPeck saves princess with help of always charming Val Kilmer. B+.

ALTERNATE:

But Morbo says: HELLO, TINY MAN! I WILL DESTROY YOU! B+.