11 Word Movie Reviews

May 26th, 2010

2010-05-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

Big

Tom Hanks wishes he was big, antics ensue, and so on. B-.

May 25th, 2010

2010-05-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

St. Elmo’s Fire

Angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst angst. B-/C+.

May 24th, 2010

2010-05-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

Steel

Not sure who should be more ashamed, crew or me. F.

May 23rd, 2010

2010-05-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Wash

Remaking Car Wash was probably not the best decision Snoop made. F.

May 22nd, 2010

2010-05-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Starsky and Hutch

Over-the-top exploration of the Apollo/Dionysus relationship between Wilson and Stiller. B-.

May 21st, 2010

2010-05-21T00:01:00.001-07:00

Reno 911: Miami

Good improv show gets mediocre movie with awesome guest stars. B-.

May 20th, 2010

2010-05-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Shakes the Clown

Won’t bother topping “The ‘Citizen Kane’ of Alcoholic Clown Movies.” C+/B-.

May 19th, 2010

2010-05-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Scrooged

Perhaps it’s the nostalgia, but I genuinely love this movie. B+.

May 18th, 2010

2010-05-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

Persepolis

Intriguing autobiography, great graphic novel, but something lost in adaptation. B.

May 17th, 2010

2010-05-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

Babies

Anyone who does not “aww” while watching likely an alien. B.

May 16th, 2010

2010-05-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Iron Man 2

Not nearly as fun as first, but assuredly has its moments. B.

May 15th, 2010

2010-05-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

Mousehunt

Awesome family-friendly movie, basically Warner Bros. cartoon given life. B+.

May 14th, 2010

2010-05-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Stuart Little 2

The sequel that never had to be made, with William Dafoe. C.

May 13th, 2010

2010-05-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

Working Girl

Interesting study on rise of working woman in 1980s. Has good moments. B-.

May 12th, 2010

2010-05-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Fugitive

Harrison Ford not guilty, and Tommy Lee Jones doesn’t care. B.

May 11th, 2010

2010-05-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

Batman Forever

Bad, but still positively incredible next to “Batman and Robin.” D.

May 10th, 2010

2010-05-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

Rudy

Kid wants to play football, and kid gets to play football. B.

May 9th, 2010

2010-05-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

No scouring of Shire, ends too many times. Still good. B+.

May 8th, 2010

2010-05-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Favorite book of trilogy, favorite movie of series, despite changes. A.

May 7th, 2010

2010-05-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

One of three reasons nerds will love Peter Jackson forever. A.

May 6th, 2010

2010-05-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

North

Everybody makes mistakes, Reiner happened to make a huge one. D.

May 5th, 2010

2010-05-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Cell

Chilling, visceral, visual, psychological thriller, possibly confusing, and definitely underrated. B.

May 4th 2010

2010-05-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

Antz

Sometimes its hard to isolate just how much went wrong. D.

May 3rd, 2010

2010-05-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

U-Turn

Oliver Stone’s second weirdest movie, also a favorite forgotten gem. B.

May 2nd, 2010

2010-05-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Backup Plan

Pretty strong, considering conventions of its particular genre; has Tom Bosley. B-.

May 1st, 2010

2010-05-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Painfully accurate portrait of the middle school experience. Funny too. B.

April 30th, 2010

2010-04-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Chloe

Basically softcore pornography starring Julianne Moore. Think I’ll pass, thanks. C+.

April 29th, 2008

2010-04-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

Stand By Me

Epic coming-of-age story with talented child actors, also Jerry O'Connell. B.

April 28th, 2010

2010-04-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

Brothers

In which actors act about some very serious acting stuff. B-.

April 27th, 2010

2010-04-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

An Education

Strong writing and performances but very little else worth noting. B.

April 26th, 2010

2010-04-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

Shutter

Mediocre remake of Japanese horror remains mediocre in its mediocrity. C-.

April 25th, 2010

2010-04-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Last Song

Atrocious melodrama not helped by Miley Cyrus’ limited acting range. D.

April 24th, 2010

2010-04-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

Meet Joe Black

Depth takes a holiday in by-the-numbers remake that’s occasionally enjoyable. C+.

April 23rd, 2010

2010-04-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Day the Earth Stood Still

Saddened this is only way people will see classic sci-fi. C.

April 22nd, 2010

2010-04-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Date Night

Whipsmart action-comedy powered on chemistry of leads and writing. A.

April 21st, 2010

2010-04-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

Hot Tub Time Machine

Funny in theory, not so much in practice. Skip it. C.

April 20th, 2010

2010-04-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Half-Baked

“Abba Zabba, you my only friend.” Definitely has its moments. B.

April 19th, 2010

2010-04-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Father of the Bride Part 2

Filed under “sequels which should not have been.” Seriously now. C.

April 18th, 2010

2010-04-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

Father of the Bride

Remake has some merit, but never really enjoyed it personally. B-.

April 17th, 2010

2010-04-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

Fool’s Gold

Who’s more foolish: the fool’s gold, or fool who watches? D.

April 16th, 2010

2010-04-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Or: How to Make a Mediocre Movie with Unlikable Leads. D.

April 15th, 2010

2010-04-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

Almost Famous

Great movie, strong biography, compelling story, great soundtrack, worth watching. A.

April 14th, 2010

2010-04-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Glitter

"Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." Abominable. F.

April 13th, 2010

2010-04-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

Josie and the Pussycats

Long tails, ears for hats. Guitars, sharps and flats. Decent. B-/C+.

April 12th, 2010

2010-04-12T00:01:00.001-07:00

Son of the Mask

No. No no no. No no no no no. No! F.

April 11th, 2010

2010-04-11T00:01:00.000-07:00

Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion

Should resonate with the high school outcast set, fun comedy. B.

April 10th, 2010

2010-04-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

Steal This Movie

Interesting biopic, Vincent Donofrio and Janene Garofalo both great therein. B-.

April 9th, 2010

2010-04-09T00:01:00.000-07:00

Mystery Men

Great comedic talent, poor ending. Strong first two acts, however. C+.

April 8th, 2010

2010-04-08T00:01:00.000-07:00

Bulworth

Unique, engaging, premise and great overall work. Check it out. A-.

April 7th, 2010

2010-04-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

About as tolerable as romantic comedies get for me, personally. B.

April 6th, 2010

2010-04-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel

Abominable title, but enjoyed David Cross’ vendetta against CGI rodents. B-.

April 5th, 2010

2010-04-05T00:01:00.000-07:00

My Father the Hero

The only time I’ve liked Hollywood remake of foreign movie ever. B+.

April 4th, 2010

2010-04-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Ugly Truth

Calling this movie mediocre insults other mediocre movies. Heigl unlikable. C-.

April 3rd, 2010

2010-04-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

Superbad

Funny slice of childhood with some great chemistry between leads. B+.

April 2nd, 2010

2010-04-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Avatar

Very pretty, but half hour too long and weaker story. B.

April 1st, 2010

2010-04-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Material Girls

What a brilliant well-executed film with generation's greatest actresses! Wow! A++.

…Gotcha.

The kind of movie I can predict hour in advance. C-

March 31st, 2010

2010-03-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Cone Heads

Not as bad as other SNL sketch movies, but barely. C+.

March 30th, 2010

2010-03-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Superman Returns

Better than three and four, worse than two, not one. B.

March 29th, 2010

2010-03-29T00:01:00.000-07:00

Dick

Funny but could maybe have been funnier. Some good jokes. C+.

March 28th, 2010

2010-03-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Graduate

Classic movie, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you? Yes. A.

March 27th, 2010

2010-03-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Usual Suspects

Odds are you know who Kaiser Soze is. I won’t tell. A.

March 26th, 2010

2010-03-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

Corrina, Corrina

Cute and emotionally poignant movie but largely forgettable in hindsight. B-.

March 25th, 2010

2010-03-25T00:01:00.000-07:00

Milk

Likely best of the elusive good Gus Van Sant movies. B+.

March 24th, 2010

2010-03-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

Remember Me

Pretty good movie has absolutely abysmal ending. Skip it. C.

March 23rd, 2010

2010-03-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Runaways

Well-executed rock biopic, passable performances, a lot of fun overall. B+.

March 22nd, 2010

2010-03-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Dead Man

Expertly crafted deconstruction of Western genre still remains wildly entertaining. A+.

March 21st, 2010

2010-03-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

Mahogany

Excellent racially charged 70s melodrama. Ran a bit long, however. B-.

March 20th, 2010

2010-03-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

The Wiz

I have no legitimate reason to like this movie, still do. B-.

March 19th, 2010

2010-03-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Men in Black 2

Michael Jackson has a cameo, and is funny. About it. C+.

March 18th, 2010

2010-03-18T00:01:00.000-07:00

Men in Black

The best of the “Will Smith summer blockbusters,” bar none. B+.

March 17th, 2010

2010-03-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

Planet 51

Either ignorant or contemptuous of audience’s intelligence, taste, or both. D.

March 16th, 2010

2010-03-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

Precious

Good performances and well-made, just so. So. So. Extremely. Depressing. B.

March 15th, 2010

2010-03-15T00:01:00.000-07:00

Leprechaun

Hi Diddly Dee, A Leprechaun is Me! Not “awesomely bad”. C-.

March 14th, 2010

2010-03-14T00:01:00.000-08:00

The Secret of Roan Innish

Bit slow at times, but really intriguing family movie about Ireland. B+.

March 13th, 2010

2010-03-13T00:01:00.000-08:00

Secret of Kells

Visually stunning piece of Celtic mythology and animation as art. A-.

March 12th, 2010

2010-03-12T00:01:00.000-08:00

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Weird for a Gilliam movie, which is really saying something. B-.

March 11th, 2010

2010-03-11T00:01:00.000-08:00

Alice in Wonderland (Burton 2010)

Third act a mess, Anne Hathaway miscast, but otherwise fine. B.

March 10th, 2010

2010-03-10T00:01:00.000-08:00

Thelma and Louise

Probably the most “empowering” movie I can think of offhand. B.

March 9th, 2010

2010-03-09T00:01:00.000-08:00

The Witches of Eastwick

Amusing Updike adaptation with a really great Jack Nicholson performance. B.

March 8th, 2010

2010-03-08T00:01:00.000-08:00

Easy Rider

I enjoyed the weird interlude at end, rest moderately interested. B.

March 7th, 2010

2010-03-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

Ghost Rider

Even worse than expected, and I had very low expectations. D.

March 6th, 2010

2010-03-06T00:01:00.000-08:00

Hitch

Hitch. Noun. From Middle English “icchen” “to stir”. See: Mediocre. C.

March 5th, 2010

2010-03-05T00:01:00.000-08:00

D.A.R.Y.L.

Boy with computer brain almost has intriguing and exciting adventure. B-.

March 4th, 2010

2010-03-04T12:01:00.000-08:00

Martian Child

Rare movie that makes me want to read adapted book. B+.

March 3rd, 2010

2010-03-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

Youth in Revolt

Not as outright funny as I’d have wanted, but good. B.

March 2nd, 2010

2010-03-02T00:07:00.001-08:00

Shutter Island

Kind of movie that makes me reluctant to give A’s. A+.

March 1st, 2010

2010-03-01T00:01:00.000-08:00

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

Trend-riding mediocrity benefits from performers involved and little else worthwhile. C+.

February 28th, 2010

2010-02-28T06:56:00.001-08:00

I Love You, Man

Enjoyed this movie more in hindsight than I did during. B-.

February 27th, 2010

2010-02-27T00:26:00.001-08:00

The Box

Amazed movie that is so confusing somehow simultaneously so boring. C-.

February 26th, 2010

2010-02-26T10:28:00.000-08:00

The Tooth Fairy

Improves at end, but middling for most of second act. C+.

February 25th, 2010

2010-02-25T00:08:00.001-08:00

The Wolf Man

Probably the best remake of the classic Universal horror movies. B+.

February 24rd, 2010

2010-02-24T00:08:00.001-08:00

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

In which studio desperately seeks another franchise-worthy magically powered boy. B.

February 23rd, 2010

2010-02-23T00:00:00.001-08:00

Daybreakers

Awful ending, which is sad because rest was fairly strong. B.

February 22nd, 2010

2010-02-22T01:17:00.001-08:00

The Haunting in Connecticut

Possibly based on reality, still not necessarily compelling storytelling, however. C.

February 21st, 2010

2010-02-21T00:07:00.001-08:00

Ghost Dad

Huge mess devolves into worse mess in last thirty minutes. D-.

ALTERNATE:

…Wait. Directed by Sidney Poitier?! Directed? By? Sidney? Poitier? What?! WHAT?!

February 20th, 2010

2010-02-20T00:04:00.000-08:00

G-Force

Exactly expected mediocre Bruckheimer movie about talking guinea pig spies. C.

February 19th, 2010

2010-02-19T09:44:00.001-08:00

A Mighty Wind

Considerably weaker than Show, but has its occasional moments of strength. B.

February 18th, 2010

2010-02-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

Best in Show

Strongest of the Guest mockumentaries, an excellent slice of scathing subcultural exposé. B+.

February 17th, 2010

2010-02-17T08:16:00.001-08:00

Waiting for Guffman

Metatextual theater of the absurd worthy of Fred Willard’s winking talents. B+.

February 16th, 2010

2010-02-16T00:05:00.001-08:00

This is Spinal Tap

First and best mockumentary hoists rock music excess by petard. A.